


The Prodigal Son Returns

by TrippyToastersAndABagOfChips



Category: Golden Sun
Genre: But he's called Piers here, Epic battle, Picard whups ace, awesomeness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-28 02:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/669372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrippyToastersAndABagOfChips/pseuds/TrippyToastersAndABagOfChips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After many years away, Piers returns to Lemuria to confront his greatest foe...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Prodigal Son Returns

It wasn't until the lost ship docked that they realized he had returned.

Those at the docks watched him guide the ship home, the look in his eyes dark and haunting. Their jaws dropped at the sight of him; the lost one. The banished one. The one soul among them who had dared defile their creed and leave their paradise behind. Some among them admired him for his actions, even more hated him and cursed his name. But all shared stories of him and spoke his name in awe. He was a legend among them, and he now stood before them. So in awe were they at the sight of him, that they did not notice his companion, who hung behind like a shadow, and remained upon the boat.

They mostly kept away from this legend as he leapt over the side of the ship and landed smoothly on the docks. One of the bolder among them began to approach him, but stopped dead at the sight of the great sword strapped at his back. Now gripped by an unpronounceable fear, they all followed the cue of the bolder man and slowly backed away from him, clearing his path.

He followed the path up from the docks, towards the streets. Like a living legend, he strode path them in bold steps, and they watched him go with the awe one would expect of those watching a man stride past them like a living legend. They were awed.

The two who guarded the city noticed him approaching and immediately remembered the first time he had returned to them after being gone, in the company of four younger companions. And they also immediately noticed the difference between that moment, and the one they currently witnessed. A dark presence gripped the great warrior; a fearsome look in his eye. He did not even need to stop for them. They moved aside to let him pass without confrontation, knowing full well the consequences they could face for doing so, and yet caring not. The look in his eyes in those moments would be retold by those two to any who would listen for decades.

The streets emptied in mere moments. They fled from him in fear, hiding in their homes and locking the doors. He was a legend among them, a destroyer, a bringer of vengeance. This was the day of reckoning for Lemuria. HE was back, and he was here to do what had to be done and live up to his family name and face full-life consequences. By slaying the one who had banished him.

"CONSERVATO!" Piers bellowed at the top of his lungs. "CONSERVATO! CONSERVATO! CONSERVATO!"

He continued to scream the name for half an hour, before realizing the coward would not show his face. His fists clenched into tiny balls of unfathomable rage, and he march up the stairs of the Lemurian street to the house of the senate. With a mighty kick, the door of the senate building was shattered, and Piers stepped inside.

It was empty.

With a frown and a suspicious gait to his step, Piers ventured further into the dark recesses of Lemuria's senate building. He stepped into the central meeting room, and there in the center stood his mortal enemy, a large poster of Robert Pattinson behind him. Truly, no sight could have been more evil.

"Bwahahahah, you fool!" Conservato laughed. "So you have returned, have you? After I banished you from this realm forever?!"

"Fuck you!" Piers fired back. "This place is my home and I have come to purify it from the likes of you!"

Conservato reared his ugly head and laughed manically. "Fool! You should have stayed away from this place! Because I know something you do not!"

"Which is?"

"That you have just walked into a trap!"

As he concluded those words, a dozen senators dropped down from the ceiling, katanas drawn, and landed in circles around Piers. The senators each had three Jupiter and three Mars djinn set, so their classes were all changed to Ninja.

"A trap!" Piers redundantly exclaimed, glancing around at the ninja senators around him.

"Indeed, mah boi!" Conservato gloated. "You foolishly waltzed in here, and now you shall pay the ultimate price for your stupidity! Prepare to die!"

And with that note, the ninja senators charged. An epic battle music started up, and Piers summoned a sword made of Psynergenic ice to his hands, leaving his true blade strapped to his back.

He quickly dispatched of the first ninja senator that reached him, decapitating the man with a quick stroke of his blade. His body slid to the ground in sickening motion, blood spraying out freely. Another ninja senator threw a shuriken at Piers, which he caught in midair and returned. The shuriken buried itself in the ninja senator's eye, who screamed and grabbed the metal star without thinking. He pulled the star from his eye, taking the damaged orb of flesh with him. He screamed and clutched frantically at the now-empty socket, though his pain was cut short by Piers' sword penetrating his face and emerging out the other side.

Another ninja senator neared Piers' blind side, though his superb Lemurian hearing gave away the old man's presence. Piers swung his sword around, the blade still stuck fast in the previous ninja senator's head. The limp body of the dead man was lifted off the ground with the blade, the limbs flailing uselessly as it was carried through the air. The head slid off the sword, blood and brain matter alike coming with it. The dead body of the ninja senator flew elated through the air and collided with its attacking friend. Brain matter struck the living ninja senator's eyes, blinding him and somehow also getting in his mouth. Piers quickly ended his pain by performing a Jump Attack, splitting the man's body in half vertically.

Somewhere behind him, a ninja senator went into a frenzy and dropped down beside his fallen companion, scooping up bits and pieces of the dead man's brain and feasting upon it. Piers made a mental note to deal with that one later.

In the meantime, two ninja senators were flanking Piers and closing in. The Mercury Adept quickly cast Diamond Berg on one, encasing him in a block of ice and charging in at a great speed, slicing him to little pieces with his blade. As the pieces of this ninja senator fell to the ground, Piers spun around, hurling his blade at the second. The sword sailed through the air, plunging through the ninja senator's stomach and emerging clean out the other side. The sword continued on its trajectory, burying itself in the wall on the other side of the room. The ninja senator simply stood there, staring in shock at the gaping hole in his stomach.

Piers summoned his Psynergies, forming a solid block of ice around his fist. He then delivered a powerful punch directly to the face of the shocked ninja senator. The impact was enough to shatter the ice, as well as crush the skull of the unfortunate man.

Another ninja senator leaped and landed directly in front of Piers, clearly aiming to take advantage of his weaponless state. Though Piers' steel blade was still strapped on his back, his Psynergenic blade of ice was stuck fast in the wall across from him. He quickly assessed he had no time to draw his true sword, so he had to use alternate strategies to deal with the man before him.

The ninja senator swung his katana in a horizontal stroke, which Piers countered by summoning a block of ice on his left side. The blade buried in the ice, and Piers took the opportunity to grab the head of the ninja senator and summon a block ice directly inside his brain. The man's head exploded instantly.

Two more ninja senators neared the spot where Piers stood. He quickly used his Psynergy to create two massive blocks of ice, each on separate sides of the men. He then slammed them together, shattering each by the force of the impact and crushing flat the two men caught in the middle.

Piers turned his attention back to his ice blade. A ninja senator had ahold of it, and was trying to pull it from the wall. With a grin, Piers snapped his fingers. The frozen blade exploded, taking with it half of the man who held it. Only an arm, a leg, and half a torso remained, which immediately fell to the ground.

Piers took this moment to assess the situation. Only four ninja senators remained, including the one who was still busy eating the brains of his fallen companion. The other three were circling him like hawks, their blades held at the ready. Conservato observed everything from a distance, cackling at the sight of the mangled bodies of the fellow senators.

Piers considered drawing his true blade to deal with them, but he could not. It was meant to take the blood of his mortal enemy, and only he. Instead, he would use his Psynergy on those who remained.

He spun quickly, casting Tundra on one of the ninja senators. The massive block of ice formed instantly at the feet of the surprised old man, who tried to leap aside to avoid it. Instead, his lower half was caught inside the frozen prison, separated from the rest of his body. The top half of him slid off, his arms flailing about in panic.

The other two took this moment to charge. As one reached him, Piers threw a handful of snow into his eyes, blinding him. Piers then grabbed the ninja senator's wrists, swinging his katana around to face the other ninja senator. The final charging senator, unable to slow his momentum, ran straight into the outstretched blade. Piers kicked him, and he slid off the blade, dead.

The blinded senator managed to clear his eyes a second before Piers snapped his neck.

With eleven of the ninja senators dealt with, Piers walked over to the one who remained untouched: the cannibal who feasted on the brains of his fallen companions.

"Why do you eat their brains?" Piers inquired.

The ninja senator grinned at Piers, his teeth stained red and blood running down his chin. "It is delicious. And by doing so I gain their wisdom!"

Disgusted with the old man before him, Piers chose his cruelest method to dispatch him. He cast Parch on him, slowly vaporizing all the liquid in his body. The twisted man screamed as this happened, though his face was grinning in masochistic delight. Once all the water was gone, all that remained of him was a flaccid husk.

Only three remained alive in the senate chamber, Piers, Conservato, and the ninja senator who had been split in half by Tundra, thought the blood loss would quickly take him. Having witnessed the entire duel, Conservato clapped for Piers.

"Most impressive, young Piers…" The old man cooed. "But defeating a group of twelve paltry senators is no task worthy of poetic praise. And by ridding me of them, you have cleared my way to absolute rule over all of Lemuria!"

"What of the king?!" Piers demanded. "You cannot rule so long as he holds the throne!"

"Behold your beloved Hydros…" Conservato said with a wicked smile. "Or what is left of him…"

At the snap of Conservato's fingers, a very small chamber behind him opened. It was barely large enough to hold a dog, and a deplorable bed made only of straw was the only visible means of living. But that wasn't what caught Piers' attention.

"King Hydros!" Piers exclaimed, his jaw dropping.

The noble king of Lemuria was in a pathetic state, clothed only in a loincloth and chained to the wall with his arms above his head. He was covered in dirt and filth, and there were many cuts and bruises across his aged body. His eyes were glazed over and his head bowed.

Piers turned to Conservato in fury. "You bastard! What have you done to him?!"

Conservato laughed manically. "I only showed him that even when I am kind, I am also cruel. Such is my way, is it not, Hydros…?"

King Hydros raised his head slightly. "Yeeeessss, Master." He moaned. "Please, punish me…"

"Later, Slave." Conservato snapped. "And for speaking out of line you shall receive two hundred whips of the lash and an hour of the burning poker. Now, bite down on this and be quiet." Conservato shoved a ball gag in Hydros awaiting mouth, and closed the chamber door.

"You bastard!" Piers screamed. "You'll pay for what you've done!"

Conservato laughed. "What I have done?! All I have done is shown Hydros his greatest fantasies, and given him pleasure beyond compare! Nay, young knave! It is YOU who shall pay for what YOU have done!"

With lightning speed, Conservato flew before Piers, delivering a kick to his chest. Piers collapsed on his back several paces away, and Conservato landed atop his chest.

"For you see, I truly was trying to warn you when you came here last." Conservato cooed. "Alchemy truly is an evil force, and in the hands of the destroyer, it will bring about the end of the world. Humanity cannot be trusted with such a weapon."

"But there are good people in the world!" Piers fired back from beneath Conservato's boot. "The kind-hearted, gentle folk, who will rise against the tyrants and restore balance. And it is through your arrogance and blindness that you cannot see this! The destroyer will never win!"

"Piers, you handsome fool." Conservato said with a sickening grin. "They cannot see the limitless potential living inside of me… to murder everything. They cannot see that… I AM THE GREAT DESTROYER!"

Conservato grabbed Piers by his throat, and hurled him through the wall. Piers broke through several walls before emerging outside the senate building into the empty Lemurian streets. Conservato slowly followed him, stepping out through the rubble.

"Now behold, my true form."

Conservato shed the layers of his thick robe, revealing what lay beneath: the wrinkled skin of an old man.

"Am I not beautiful?!" Conservato screamed to the empty air around him. "This is me, in all my glory! I am Conservato, and A GOD AM i!"

Piers rose to his feet, drawing the sword from his back as he did. "I have been saving this one for you." He said to Conservato. "I call it the Devil's Broadsword. I forged it with all my hatred and vengeance in mind. I created it with a single purpose in mine: to destroy you. And so it shall."

Conservato raised his hands in the air, summoning a blade of pure electricity. The dark sword of conservative chaos crackled much as its master was known to, for it was his child of dark energy, and Piers knew it was his foil.

"You will taste this, young mongoloid!" The senator declared, and he charged. "And once you are beaten to a bloody pulp and damaged beyond repair, I will taste you! In more ways than one."

"NotifIkillyoubeforethatcanha ppen!" Piers returned in a single breath.

And with that final exchange of anxious dialogue, the two arch-enemies began their fated duel. The two great swords met in ferocious strokes, and great Mercury Psynergy was hurled between them. Alas, they were as two legends in the flesh, two gods in the guise of mortal beings. Lemuria alone was not enough to contain their fearsome battle.

Time was irrelevant to Piers as they fought. The battle went on for minutes, nay, hours, but the mariner noticed not. His focus was on one single objective: slaying the disgusting old man before him.

On the sidelines, Lunpa the noble thief watched in awe from his house. He turned slowly to face a young Lemurian at his side, who then met his gaze.

"Remember this day, my friend." Lunpa said to him. "For this day is a day worth remembering."

The Lemurian nodded, and they turned their attention back to the battle at hand.

The streets of Lemuria were an idle casualty in the wake of the violent duel. As glaciers and frozen blades of ice were thrown between them in the wake of their fight, the scars of their warlike conflict dotted the landscape around them. And the terrain wasn't the only thing torn to pieces. Piers' clothing was gradually damaged by the swings of Conservato's lightsaber. With each scrap of fabric that came off, a bit more of the muscular, toned chest of the sailor could be seen. He was sweating profusely from the battles of the day, giving his waxed torso a gleaming sheen. Many fangirls could be heard sighing from the sidelines.

The conflict went on and on, and Piers gradually formed an evaluation of his opponent's strength. They were nigh evenly matched, but if the scale tipped for either of them, it tipped for the senator. And as this dawned on Piers, he realized he would have to change his strategy if he wished to survive.

"What's the matter, boy?" Conservato jeered, no doubt picking up on his hesitation. "Wearing yourself out? Perhaps you should have simply stayed away and lived your life in exile the way you were supposed to! For returning here can only mean you had a death wish! Do you know why bears eat honey, Piers? It is because bears must go through bees in order to get to the honey! Bears are gluttons for pain! They love it when the bees sting them all good like! Pain gets them off! But they know they can live through it! Because they are bears! And this is real life! This is no cartoon! If it were a cartoon, bears would be soft-spoken weaklings who spent their days loitering around the forest in the company of tiny pigs and tigers with ADHD and donkeys that needed their tail pinned to their asses every ten minutes! But this is not a children's story, Piers! This is reality, and bears are the Chuck Norris of forest animals! You know what you get when you breed a bear with Chuck Norris?! You get a fucking Chuck Norris bear! And I eat those for breakfast! And you know how tough a Chuck Norris bear would be! It would be like all the toughness of Chuck Norris in an even more fearsome package! And I eat those for mutha fugging breakfast! I'm like a psycho clone of Keanu Reeves on PCP! I snack on broken glass, Piers! I chew it up and blood trickles down my chin! It's frickin awesome! Slenderman is scared of me! Do you want to kiss me, fool? You better watch out, cause I breathe fire! Not normal fire, baby! Oh, no! GREEN FIRE! BECAUSE FUCKING GREEN FIRE IS WAY MORE AWESOME THAN NORMAL RED FIRE, AND I DO EVERYTHING THE WAY NORMAL PEOPLE DO IT, BU COOLER!"

While Piers was trying to figure out what the hell Conservato was ranting about, the senator took advantage of his confused state and snaked forward, striking Piers square in the jaw with a falcon punch. The naked old senator stood atop Piers' chest, pointing his blade directly at the Lemurian's throat.

"Any final words, boy?" Conservato asked, his toothless smile forming a wicked grin.

"Just three." Piers said, grinning suddenly. "But they're not mine."

A hand grabbed Conservato's head from behind, holding the senator tightly by the hair. Before Conservato could move or react in any way, he felt the most agonizing pain in his skull he had ever felt, like a thousand needles piercing every inch of his head again and again. He did not see what was happening, but his head began to dissolve, losing form like a wet sandcastle. And that's exactly what his head, eyes, and brain were being turning into. Sand.

As Conservato's head disintegrated into nothingness, his dead body collapsed to the side. At the sight of this, uproarious cheering began. The Lemurians broke out into song and dance at the sight of the slain oppressor. And the one who had done said slaying, helped Piers to his feet, and then turned and spitefully spat upon the headless body of the vain Conservato.

"Team Jacob, bitch!" said Felix.

And with those three words, the prophecy was fulfilled.


End file.
